#DNASurprise

Severance Magazine, The Beagle Has Landed podcast, and other resources on the topic of DNA Family Surprises

Severance Magazine, The Beagle Has Landed podcast, and other resources on the topic of DNA Family Surprises

When a new resource becomes available that I think will help my clients and the readers of my blog, I try to highlight them. This week I have three to share - one a website, one a book, and one a podcast.

Severance Magazine is a new resource for the growing group of individuals who learn they have been separated by biological relatives. You can read articles, news, connect with other resources, and share your own story through print and video. Those who will benefit included those who are adopted, donor conceived, NPE (“not the parent expected”), and the less-common situations of those who have been switched at birth, kidnapped, or abandoned as children.

“Objects may appear closer than they are…” - self-identity reflections from Maggy’s NPE discovery at age 54

“Objects may appear closer than they are…” - self-identity reflections from Maggy’s NPE discovery at age 54

Today we’re lucky enough to share a post entitled “Objects may appear closer than they are…” written in 2013 by a woman named Maggy. We’ve heard from others who discover they are NPEs (not the parent expected) in our #DNASurprise series of guest blog posts, but what happens when this discovery comes later in life? After you’ve spent five decades thinking you know the ins and outs of your family tree?

When Maggy was 54 years old, she discovered that her mother wasn’t who she thought she was. Throughout the ups and downs of her discovery, Maggy has shared insightful blog posts – cathartic not only for her but also providing valuable insight to others going through similar experiences. Throughout her post, we see the theme of identity, and how DNA surprises can impact a person’s sense of self and belonging.

To Birth Wives…there is growing support for you if you’re the wife of husbands in reunion with a daughter newly-found from DNA Testing

To Birth Wives…there is growing support for you if you’re the wife of husbands in reunion with a daughter newly-found from DNA Testing

One by one, women have begun to reach out to me. They describe a similar scenario.

Their husbands were unaware they had fathered a child in the past (typically, it's a daughter).

That child is now an adult.

Consumer DNA testing helped reunite the adult child with their father.

These situations involve a lot of emotions for everyone, including the adult child, the father, his wife/significant other, and other children in the family.

Two Sisters Must Decide Whether to Tell a New DNA Sister She’s an NPE

Two Sisters Must Decide Whether to Tell a New DNA Sister She’s an NPE

YOU RECENTLY DISCOVERED A HALF-SIBLING. DID THIS SURPRISE COME OUT OF THE BLUE?

Jessica: I was not surprised to find out about a half-sibling as my dad was single after my mother and him divorced when I was five and did not re-marry until I was 10. He dated frequently during that time, from what I remember. My older sister made the discovery when she submitted her DNA first and found a “close relative” match but did not understand the implications until later.

Recently my sister asked my dad if he would be interested in taking a DNA test for genealogy purposes at which time he admitted he had another daughter. He figured it would come out if he ended up going through with the DNA test.

“I am thankful that she told me the truth when I asked” - Christa’s Story of a DNA Surprise

“I am thankful that she told me the truth when I asked” - Christa’s Story of a DNA Surprise

The recorded re-telling of a painful and emotional experience of uncovering a DNA surprise is helpful for others to read. It supports and validates others who are going through the same thing, and it provides insight for the friends, family, and professionals who will be there alongside a person on their journey following the unexpected discovery.

An important point that my next guest blogger, Christa, makes is that receiving the truth from her mother rather than denial held so much value to her. She was so grateful that her mom ‘came clean’ straight away when she came to her with the discovery that the father she had grown up believing was her biological father was not.

Brianne Kirkpatrick Quoted in PhillyVoice article on unexpected DNA surprises

I recently spoke with Brian Hickey who writes for PhillyVoice. In this piece which covers the topic of support after unexpected DNA discoveries, I shared my thoughts on the topic and touched briefly on the role grief and support play in these experiences.

You can find the article HERE.

"I think I figured out my father isn't my father, but I don't know what to do now."

"I think I figured out my father isn't my father, but I don't know what to do now."

If you’re searching the web because your DNA test results have totally taken you aback, I am so sorry you are going through this. Ancestry tests work like paternity testing, in that they are able to detect whether or not you are matching to close biological family correctly or not. The results can be confusing, especially to someone not familiar with the way ancestry test results are displayed.

If your results just came back today and someone you are expecting to see in your match list isn’t there, first of all give it a few days - make sure the testing company’s system has had a chance to finish working through and matching you to their large database of other testers. Sometimes you just need a little more time for all your DNA matches to show up properly.

A Call from Wendell: James's DNA Surprise Story

A Call from Wendell: James's DNA Surprise Story

TThe uncovering of one DNA surprise can sometimes have a domino effect in a family. It is understandable how words like “unraveling” are used to describe situations like this, when multiple tightly-held secrets suddenly all become known in short order, and how panicked fingers begin to point and deflect blame. In the case of James and his family, the discovery that the father who raised James wasn’t his biological father led to the same discovery for his three siblings as well.

James shares with us the painful details of his mother’s misplaced blame on him after the secrets of his and his siblings’ misattributed paternity came to light. He writes about how he has been able to cope and move forward in the year since he made his own unexpected paternity discovery.

A DNA Surprise Five Decades in the Making - Part 2

THE STORY OF JUDEY AND GINNA: GINNA’S SIDE OF THE STORY:

Fishing has been something I’ve done nearly my whole life. It was a family affair; we’d pile in the boat and enjoy the relaxation and fun together. My dad and brother taught me to fish when I was three, and it is something I never stopped doing once I learned. Fishing is in my blood.

Starting a blog helped Stacey cope with her DNA Surprise

Starting a blog helped Stacey cope with her DNA Surprise

Blogging to Cope with My DNA Surprise: Stacey’s Story

A couple of weeks after my 41st birthday, my world as I knew it changed forever.  It’s a story we’ve now all heard: a DNA sample submitted to an ancestry website revealed unexpected biological data.  After asking my parents about it, they finally revealed that the man who raised me was not my biological father. I had so many questions - who was my biological father? Why did they lie? How could they keep it from me for so long?  Who knew?

Making Your Existence Known to Bio Family - Should You or Shouldn't You?

Making Your Existence Known to Bio Family - Should You or Shouldn't You?

I had someone reach out to me a few months ago who was adopted and had reunited with his birth mom before she died after she sought him out. He never had interest in seeking out and reuniting with his birth father but accidentally matched to his (now deceased) bio father's family (an entire set of half-siblings) when doing an ancestry DNA test.